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January 20, 2020 3 min read

Today's Guest Post is from Cara Sinclair.

I've heard from countless people that booking a sex worker for the first time was one of the scariest things they've ever done. I'm here to give you a few tips to make that process easier, smoother and less intimidating.

1. Do your research

I'm sure you're eager to get going, but there's no need to rush! Take some time to peruse different directories and get a feel for the wide variety of workers out there.

If someone piques your interest, read their ad to learn more about them and the services they provide. You'll want to find someone you think you can gel with - compatibility is based on more than looks alone!

Most providers are on social media these days, so check out their accounts to get a glimpse of their personality. The first provider you see may not be the perfect match, and that's okay - there are as many sex workers as there are stars in the sky. If you take some time to research different providers before making a decision, you'll have plenty of options if your first pick doesn't work out.

2. Respect is key

So you've found someone you'd like to see. When sending that initial message, be friendly and introduce yourself. Tell your provider your name, when you would like to see them and for how long.

Remember to be respectful - this means no sexting or dick pics. If you don't get a response right away, don't stress! Aside from running a business, sex workers have lives and responsibilities outside of work and will get back to you as soon as they can. Harassing, insulting or haggling with a provider will get you blocked. If this seems like common sense to you - good! You're already a step ahead in finding your perfect provider.

3. Tell us what you want (and what you don't) before the booking.

Sex workers offer an endless variety of services, so it's best if we know what you want before we get into a room together.

For instance, if you've always wanted to try pegging, tell us! If you can't stand blow jobs, let us know! We want to be aware of your likes and dislikes so we can be properly prepared for the booking and give you the best experience possible.

Not to mention, talking about sex can be kind of awkward, so if you tell us what you want in advance, this spares any uncomfortable discussions in person and lets the booking go as smoothly as possible. (On that note – if you find yourself not enjoying something during the booking, let us know! We want to make you feel good, and while we're skilled at reading body language, communication on your end never hurts.)

4. It's okay to be nervous! In fact, it's totally normal

Doing anything for the first time is scary, especially when it involves getting naked with a stranger.

If you're feeling a bit anxious, it's okay to let us know - we're human, so we know what it is like to feel tense, and we are experts at calming nerves. A good sex worker will make you feel at ease, like you're seeing an old friend. If you think you'll need some extra time to relax, book a few hours and bring a bottle of wine to share - I promise it won't be long until your worries are history.

5. Follow protocol so you can get down to business

Before the fun can begin, there are a few formalities that need to be handled.

First off, money. When you meet your provider, promptly present this in an unsealed envelope. It's best to get business out of the way as quickly as possible so you can move on to the main event.

Next, you will likely undergo a brief health check - these are a routine part of any booking and, while they might be a bit awkward, they're nothing to feel shameful about. Following this, a shower is standard practice (no, not a sexy shower for two - that can come later!). Most sex workers provide toiletries such as soap, mouthwash and deodorant - use them! There's no harm in being overly clean.

Your provider will let you know if they need anything else from you at this point. Otherwise, congratulate yourself on taking the risk and doing something new - and have fun!

- Cara Sinclair

Cara Sinclair is a sex worker, writer, photographer and Mexican food aficionado. She was born and raised in San Francisco, US and currently resides in Sydney, Australia with her dog. You can follow her adventures on Instagram and Twitter at @mscarasinclair.

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