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March 09, 2020 2 min read

Whenever Stephanie Nuzzo calls, I answer. Known for penning interesting takes on current sex topics, Stephanie is an excellent sex writer. So when Steph reached out and asked for my thoughts on crystal sex toys - you know the ones, the quartz dildos and the jade yoni eggs that Gwyneth Paltrow loves so much - I of course had plenty to say. 

You can read some of my thoughts (along with the excellent Dr. Lauren Rosewarne's) in Stephanie's latest for Body and Soul, A beginner's guide to introducing crystals into your love and sex life

Given the safety and ethical concerns you may have around crystal mining and use, you might be curious about the alternative options (there is no judgement from me either way - we all gotta draw our own lines in this capitalist nightmare vortex and if crystals are your thing - then you do you, boo!)  

One of the reasons that crystal sex toys are popular is that they are very firm, which makes them useful as internal or even external massage tools. If what you are looking for is firm dildos or plugs, I highly recommend stainless steel. Stainless steel is hypoallergenic, non-porous, recyclable and will last several lifetimes if looked after properly. And that isn't even hard to do - stainless steel is robust! I’ve dropped my Njoy Pure Wand many times and you wouldn’t even know it - it still looks good as new! Just make sure you don't use abrasive cleaners, and keep it somewhere it won't get scratched, and you're good to go.

Other firm sex toy materials include ceramic, glass and ABS plastic.

Of course, the other reason crystal sex toys are popular is for the spirituality aspect. Your mileage may absolutely vary here, but when it comes to matters of ritual and healing, my firm belief is that it is our intentions that actually matter, not the specific tools we use.

You can imbue the most mundane items with a mystical quality if you want to. There are no rules for how to practice sacred sexuality, just suggestions. As Dion De Rossi said, "DIY is at the heart of magic, sexuality and creation. So it is important that you customise your own practice using the essential elements to create something that truly resonates with you. Magick can only work if you feel it in your authentic core - no matter how Instagram ready your altar may be."

So if someone tells you that in order to heal or connect with your spiritual, sensual or sexual self, you need to purchase a specific product, I would be very sceptical of what they were trying to sell you. We are absolutely here for sacred sex and sex magick, but please don't think there is only one way to practice this, because it simply ain't true. And if what you want is a firm, internal massage tool, well, you've got options for that too!

- Lauren Clair

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