Getting Deep into Deep Throating - a Primer For Everyone

Deep-throating is a sexual activity where a person takes a penis or other phallus deep into their throat during fellatio. For folk who want to be able to deep throat their partners but haven't managed to get it all in, or haven't been sure where to begin, this article is a great primer - just straight up tips for going down.

Firstly, let me preface this by saying that when I use words like 'penis', 'cock' or 'phallus' - they may or may not be words that you yourself use and please feel free to replace my choice of words with those that are most suited for you and your experiences. 

Now that we've said that, the other thing I wanted to mention is that I think penises are awesome. Frankly, I love the cock. And I believe that is one of the most important aspects of being able to successfully and enjoyably deep throat someone – you have to be into the cock that you are working with. Which brings us to step one of this primer: 

Love Giving Head

I think Nina Hartley said it best, "Fellatio isn't a task to be endured for the benefit of another. It's a selfish pleasure all on its own." This is true of deep-throating as well. If you aren't an enthusiastic participant in the activity, then it probably isn't going to be an enjoyable or positive experience for you or your partner. 

When you get down to deep-throating, you can experience the fun and excitement of how a cock responds to stimulation (all that involuntary jerking and engorging) in a brand new way.. but first you are probably going to want to..

Practice!

If you want to just jump on in, then I salute you. But I assume you are reading this guide because that won’t or hasn’t worked out for you. So, keep in mind that the worst that is likely to happen whilst deep-throating is that you gag, and perhaps you vomit a little. This is not the end of the world, but it is unpleasant. So take it slow, and practice.

If you have a willing partner who is happy to let you practice on them, great! If not, then a dildo or appropriately shaped vegetable will do the trick. I recommend starting on the smaller side and working your way up. Think of it like weight-training. Get comfortable with a smaller cock in your throat, then gradually work your way up until you can conquer all. Lube it up and feel out your angles, remembering to breathe. You'll feel progressively more comfortable with the sensation of something hard filling your throat and your body will relax into it.

Take It Slowly. Get Horny.

You may have seen amazing people in porn chowing down on dick like it ain't no thing but a chicken wing. But trust me, they weren’t all born with a magical deep-throating ability, and it’s okay for this to be something you work at and ease into too. Just as it helps to love giving head to be really good at it, you also benefit from getting in the mood, and tending to your own arousal.

So if you are playing with a partner, ask them to help get you in the mood first, or play with yourself while you give them head - whatever suits you. Make it hot and horny and fun - you might need to work at deep-throating but this isn’t supposed to be hard work, right? Except.. I suppose it is supposed to be 'hard' work, if you catch my drift (I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.) But honestly, if you go into it worrying about your abilities or feeling anxious - you won’t be relaxed and you probably won’t enjoy it, and again, chances are neither will your partner. So build up to it, keep it lighthearted and if it doesn’t work out, there is nothing to say you can’t take a DT rain check. 

The Right Angle

Make sure their cock is well-lubricated. Seriously, take the time to do this, either with an actual water-based lubricant or a really healthy amount of spit, and then slowly ease it into your mouth. Feel free to use your own hands to guide them in – this will give you an added level of control which is important if you want to avoid injuries! Think about the shape of the penis and the angle of the inside of your mouth and throat: you want to be able to get your ‘deep-throating path’ as straight and clear as possible, so tilt your head back as required.

But what angles should you be aiming for? And which position best achieves them? For myself, and others I have spoken to, the best starter position for deep-throating is to have them standing, whilst you lie on your back with your head hanging just off the edge of the bed. Of course, this won’t work for everyone, and it will depend on the curve of the penis or dildo you are trying to deep throat as to what the best angle will be, but in general, this method should work out quite nicely for most.

Another method is with them standing, kneel in front of them; this way allows you to get that straight line by tilting your head upwards, and still allows you to take control with your hands. You can also rock this on all fours, once again, it is about finding what makes you comfortable, and what works best for you and your partner.

Once you figure out the angle that works for you, you can knock it up a notch. Slowly start to suck and slide your mouth closer to the base of the penis. Assuming you are relaxed, the cock is well-lubed and your angles are right, you should be able to get most or all of it down. If you have the ability to, try sliding your tongue around the lower side of their cock, or tugging on their balls (if they have them). 

Wet, Wet, Wet

I mentioned lubricant a few times, but it bears repeating. If your mouth and throat is dry, or if their cock is dry, you aren’t going to get very far in this journey. Also, the journey will be a scratchy, chafing one. That's not where you wanna be, so get to lubing! If flavours are your thing, then find a flavour that looks tasty (we recommend Sliquid Swirl, almost exclusively, because not all flavoured lubricants are created equal). Otherwise, any good quality lubricant will do the trick - just make sure you do a taste test first!

You may find that once you start to take more of the cock into your throat, you naturally respond with a whole lotta saliva. Don’t be squicked out by this, embrace the spit and use it to your advantage!

Time To Come

One thing that you’ll want to discuss BEFORE you are unable to speak due to all that cock in your mouth is whether it is okay for them to come while you are deep-throating them. If you aren't a fan of swallowing in general, then I would proceed with caution before agreeing to have someone ejaculate in your throat. Trust me, spitting out that which is sliding down the far recesses of your throat is nigh on impossible.

You and your partner should decide what will work best for you, and remember, there is no shame in wanting them to come in your mouth; on your face; somewhere else entirely. There is nothing inherently degrading about enjoying the warm, sticky feel of ejaculate, nor is there anything prudish about that not being your jam.

(any excuse for an Elaine gif, right?)

Enjoy!

We started this primer at your enjoyment and that is where we'll end too. This is as much for your pleasure and enjoyment as it is for your partner, and we could never endorse doing something that you don't wholeheartedly want to do. So if you are still feeling it: relax, lube up, practice and have fun!!